I don't understand why I need to work so hard. I don't understand why people can still continue to do everything they can even though they know they will fail. Would you call it hope or human's idiocy to believe that they have the power the change things. Does the process really matter more than the outcome? You can say "At least I tried" when the results are not what you desired. But how much are those words worth? Are you not only just consoling yourself, pretending that things aren't so bad because you did your part and gave your best and the outcome has nothing to do with you at all? If you don't try, you blame yourself, if you try, you're allowed to blame your destiny. So you rather say it's because the outcome is fixed and not matter what I do, I cannot change it even though in the beginning it was you who wanted to challenge the outcome? Why not just leave things as it is, so at least you can cheat yourself a little and say it's because I didn't try that's why I failed, but if I did I'll probably be able to succeed rather then try and fail? Why put yourself in so much agony?

Journey vs Destination. I don't even know where I'm going anymore. I think I've been lying to myself over the whole scholarship thing. Do I really want to work in DSTA? I know I don't mind but do I really want to? The money is all nice and enticing but do I really want it? (Of course I do, but do I want it so badly?) I just want to make my parents happy. But they just want me to be happy. But I'll only be happy if they're happy. And in the end we won't even know if we're really truly happy. It would be easy to follow your heart if you know what it's thinking. But I don't. It's just thumping and going through those systole diastole thing and maintaining life in my body.

Stupid mock interview, made me think so much. Stupid idea of DSTA to change the courses they want their scholars to take. Stupid me for blaming others for whatever I'm thinking. Just feel like venting a bit of anger (but more of depression, I think) somewhere.

Momentum = mass x velocity. So I've been spending some time studying, and I've finished quite a few chapters so definitely have some velocity since velocity = displacement over time. And since I am made of matter with a bit of wave properties, I definitely have some mass. So I have some momentum and I will continue studying. Impulse is the change of momentum so impulse = mass x change in velocity for constant mass. I admit I will definitely binge a little during the next few days but it's probably only going to add a few grams which is insignificant compared to my body mass so let's just assume my mass is constant. At long as I keep to this speed of studying, I won't have any impulse and will not make any impulsive moves (like murdering people). But velocity has the component of direction which means I can't go back and revise what I've studied before. Hmm. This is tricky. Physics is quite fun really. Hahaha. If I made really small changes at a time, my rate of change of momentum will not be so high so my impulse won't increase so suddenly and so if I wanted to murder someone I will definitely show signs and someone will stop me. Yay.

If you ever not feel like studying, just make use of Newton's 2nd law of Dynamics to get you to continue.

Is this the answer to what I didn't understand?

previous - next

Gotta be Somebody - Monday, Apr. 13, 2009
hark each tree - Wednesday, Mar. 25, 2009
March! =D - Sunday, Mar. 01, 2009
7 deadly muffins - Thursday, Feb. 05, 2009
passion - Thursday, Dec. 18, 2008