词: 方文山
Ci: Fang Wen Shan
Lyrics: Vincent Fang

曲: 周杰伦
Qu: Zhou Jie Lun
Music: Jay Chou

冷咖啡离开了杯垫
leng ka fei li kai le bei dian
As the cold coffee leaves the coaster

我忍住的情绪在很后面
wo ren zhu de qing xu zai hen hou mian
I desperately tried to hold my emotions far behind

拼命想挽回的从前
pin ming xiang wan hui de cong qian
Fighting hard to restore the past

在我脸上依旧清晰可见
zai wo lian shang yi jiu qing xi ke jian
On my face you can still see ever so clearly

最美的不是下雨天
zui mei de bu shi xia yu tian
that rainy day wasn’t the most beautiful

是曾与你躲过雨的屋檐 oh~~
shi ceng yu ni duo guo yu de wu yan
It’s the shelters that I once shared with you in the rain

回忆的画面
hui yi de hua mian
The pictures in my memory

在荡着秋千 梦开始不甜
zai dang zhe qiu qian meng kai shi bu tian
While on the swings dreams become less sweet

你说把爱渐渐 放下会走更远
ni shuo ba ai jian jian fang xia hui zou geng yuan
You told me that by gradually letting go I’d be able to go further

又何必去改变已错过的时间
you he bi qu gai bian ni cuo guo de shi jian
and why bother changing the times that you’ve missed

你用你的指尖 阻止我说再见
ni yong ni de zhi jian zu zhi wo shuo zai jian
you used your fingertip to stop me from saying goodbye

想像你在身边在完全失去之前
xiang xiang ni zai shen bian zai wan quan shi qu zhi qian
imaging you being by my side before you completely disappear

你说把爱渐渐 放下会走更远
ni shuo ba ai jian jian fang xia hui zou geng yuan
You told me that by gradually letting go I’d be able to go further

或许命运的签 只让我们遇见
huo xu ming yun de qian zhi rang wo men yu jian
Perhaps life’s destiny only allowed us to meet

只让我们相恋 这一季的秋天
zhi rang wo men xiang lian zhe yi ji de qiu tian
(and) Only allowed us to love this one season of fall

飘落後才发现 这幸福的碎片
piao luo hou cai fa xian zhe xing fu de sui pian
only after the pieces drifted down that I realized these are the pieces of happiness

要我怎麼捡
yao wo zen me jian
How do i pick them up

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A fantastic song that describes what I meant about in my last entry about believing in 'something'. It took me a while to figure out the words... actually I never really managed to figure it out. I gave up and googled it.

“Everyone is free to fantasise about what he likes, but it is also his duty to make his fantasies aware of the fact that they are just fantasy. Otherwise, he is making fun of them, and then they are entitled to kill him” - King of Clubs, 'Solitaire Mystery' by Jostein Gaarder.

I'm thinking about buying this book and Christmas Mystery on Ebay or Amazon... but I'll wait until I go into the super cheap bookstore. Anyway, it's not as though I have that much time to read... =(

Haha, I'm just useless, I keep telling myself that there is a lot of time but I don't follow what I preach.

That's why I end up hurting people and then I feel guilty and emo about it. And then I hurt even more people in the process of being emo. I should really think before I act/say something.

But I can't help it. My human nature always takes over. I remember in IJ, there was a lovely hymn that thanks God and asks for his guidance and about the difficulty of putting our human nature to let God take control. I wish I remembered how the song goes.

But really, I have to thank my friend for introducing me to Holy Trinity Brompton. I It feels good to be in God's peace. If not, I'll probably turn into a monster or emo queen.

Anyway, Christmas is coming! Oxford St looks a lot like Orchard Rd in Singapore only that the buildings aren't that familiar and Zara appears far too many times. And Singapore doesn't have Primark which sells super cheap clothes and accessories.

Anyway, back to fantasies... sighs. I am forgetting everything but I cannot let go. I don’t want to know if that’s the reason I cannot move on. It brings a smile to my face whenever I think about it but I think it could be part of whole inner wonderfulness business that was mentioned in the last entry and about me being too idealistic. It could be that I cannot accept who I am, and I keep thinking I can be a better person and I think holding on to those fantasies might just help. And it might just be the thing that is barring me from what I need to learn to do. Then again, it may also be helping me. I am highly confused really. That’s why that entire paragraph is highly confusing.

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And that was what I wrote yesterday, Saturday 8/12/2007

After going to church I've made a decision to let go. It won't be easy, but I do not want to keep depending on fantasies. Fantasies stay as fantasies. They are beautiful, but if you do not know where to stop, then they have a right to decapacitate you. I will stop indulging in those and concentrate on doing what I have to do, leaning what I need to learn. I cannot be an escapist for the rest of my life, especially not when it stops me from moving forwards. I suppose once in a while I'll dream a bit, but dreams will remain as dreams (although they will be very good writing/drawing material... I don't really plan to kill any artistic expressions in this process, just to stop relying on some superhero figure to save me from erring, from being lonely, from having negative feelings)

Dreams do not make who I am. They are just lovely episodes of entertainment, introspection and escape (all designed by Morpheus haha). I'm going to wake up from this dream and open my eyes to the world before me, the people around me.

I hope I don't change my mind 2 weeks later.

*sighs* I love dreams but I have to learn to accept that dreams are an idealistic point of view and the real world is rarely that ideal.

I pray for strength for me to wake up from my dream. I pray that others with no hope can learn to dream. I pray that others who are still lost in reverie will find motivation to wake up. I pray that everyone can balance the real and the imaginary.

No wonder we have to learn complex numbers.

Random Statement 32 (Well... I still want my Solitaire Mystery)
"I have queued for 6 hours to get the most valuable collector’s item in the world. Its beauty is beyond description, its worth beyond measure... HELLO KITTY!"
Possible line in an upcoming musical.